Recovering from Perfectionism Archives - LeeAnn G Taylor

Healing Your Spiritual Root System

July 16, 2015 By LeeAnn G. Taylor

She cries out, uncomfortable and sad as she rubs her face back and forth on the crib mattress. My baby girl is sick.

This “summer fever virus” her brother shared has traveled to her eyes and she’s miserable. The thing is, a few days ago, I didn’t realize she was so sick. Oh yes, I knew she had a virus, but we’d called the nurse and gotten the okay to ride it out since there were no other symptoms.

In time though, the blocked tear duct she’d struggled with earlier in the week became inflamed and infected, leading to one feverish, sick baby.

It wasn’t until I realized how sick she actually was that we were able to tend to her and acquire the medication she needed to get well.

Isn’t it the same with us as adults sometimes?

We go through our daily routines, knowing we have sin-that-so-easily-entangles-us in our lives but not truly realizing the impact and the depth of the bondage we’re in. We don’t realize our souls are sick so we don’t seek Christ’s grace, forgiveness, and freedom – the medicine we need for healing.

For me, one turning point came 18 months ago in the form of a God-Centered Mom podcast episode. The host {Heather} interviewed Francie Winslow and through her words, I finally began to grasp the truth of one of my sins {my pride, taking the form of perfectionism} and the freedom from this “good girl” sin available through Christ.

I started using Francie’s method of healing my spiritual root system:

recognize something’s wrong
admit it’s wrong and repenting
renounce the lie I’ve believed
replace it with truth
accept forgiveness
and rejoice in the newfound freedom

I encourage you to save the image above to your phone’s photo roll or print it out to refer back to it. It’s time for us to embrace the freedom Christ came to share!

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Galatians 5:1a #bgbg2

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What’s one action you’ve taken {or you’re going to take} to feed your soul and heal your spiritual root system? Share in the comments and let’s encourage one another!

Sharing with the Five Minute Friday community. This week’s prompt was “free” – I started writing and just couldn’t stop at 5 minutes. Glad there’s grace for that!

Doubt, Control and Rest

March 23, 2015 By LeeAnn G. Taylor

Have you ever wondered if God is real?

To some “good church-going Christians,” the thought of even asking that question may send them into a panic.

But while we may never verbally express this type of doubt, sometimes the way we live our lives is evidence of our struggle in this faith journey.

I’ll share an example from my own life this week.

I’ve been blessed to be a part of a ladies Bible study at a local church and we’re currently using Priscilla Shirer’s video series and journal, Breathe, to dig deeply into the concept of the Sabbath rest.

Some of us are so busy going from one thing to the next each day that the idea of rest seems impossible. Others of us can’t let go of the perfectionistic tendencies and our desperate desire to have things just so.

God stopped. He rested. And He prescribes the same for you and me. ~ @PriscillaShirer #SabbathRest

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I was convicted that my lack of willingness to stop and rest is evidence of my lack of trust in God.

While I might be concerned about ALL. THE. THINGS. around the house, with Chuck and the kids, responsibilities at work, paying off debt, selling our house, plans for the future, etc., what I’m truly revealing is my lack of faith that He will redeem that “lost time” for those of us who have a production mindset.

What about you? Do you also struggle with trying to control your time or do you remember to have a mindset of rest?

What tips do you have for remembering to take time to rest your mind, your body, and your soul?

This post is part of Five Minute Friday {Real} where we’re given a writing prompt and encouraged to write for five minutes of free writing. It’s a beautiful community of women sharing their words and wisdom each week! This post contains affiliate links {full disclosure}. Income from the blog helps fund Eva, our sponsored child through Compassion International.

Finding God in the Seeking {Worship Wednesday}

February 24, 2015 By LeeAnn G. Taylor

Are there days you question everything? Well, maybe not everything, but do you question whether or not you have any idea what you’re doing at this thing called life?

Oh wait, maybe that IS questioning everything…

Well, that’s me sometimes. So many questions swirl around in my head. At times the doubts become a tornado of thoughts that spin completely out of control. And I wonder.

Am I a good enough wife?

Am I a good enough parent?

Am I a good enough daughter/sister?

Am I a good enough friend/coworker?

My husband says I can be overly critical of myself. In reflecting on his observation, I’m learning I have a tendency to set expectations that are too high for myself. I doubt my own ability to become the best version of myself I’ve created in my mind. I forget on a regular basis to give myself grace.

In reality, I think what’s really happening is I’m trying to rely on myself.

In the past I’ve felt that somehow I should have already “arrived” at the strong relationship with God I’m seeking. I should already know the perfect thing to say to my 2 year old in the middle of the fifth tantrum of the day that will point him to Jesus. I should already know how to be the thoughtful and generous friend I desire to be. I should already have the perfect morning quiet time I’ve imagined a hundred times in my head.

I should, I should, I should.

All the expectations I have of myself can be crippling!

I know dwelling on “shoulds” and my own doubts is not particularly beneficial nor productive. Instead of focusing on the destination (the “I’ve arrived!” moments), I’m learning to find God in the seeking.

Sometimes we find God where we least expect him, in the middle of our seeking.

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And so, instead of looking toward myself for the answers when I feel like I just don’t measure up to my own unattainable standards, I’m looking to the Truth instead.

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. ~ Jeremiah 29:13

Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. ~ Matthew 7:7-12

I read these words and my soul feels a little more rest, just a little more at peace. The answer is right in front of me. I just need to know Him.

I’m learning that it’s a process. I need to keep on asking and seeking before I will find what I’m looking for.

And as I continue to feast on the bread of Truth, I will find Him in the seeking.

It is my prayer for you that you too find God in the seeking. I pray that together we learn to lay down our self-reliant, self-sufficient mindsets and remember who gives us life and breath to begin with. May today’s Worship Wednesday song remind us of how desperately we all need Him.

Oh How I Need You

Lord I find You in the seeking
Lord I find You in the doubt
And to know You is to love You
And to know so little else

I need You
Oh how I need You
Oh how I need You
Oh how I need You

Lord I find You in the morning
Lord I seek You everyday
Let my life be for Your glory
Woven in your threads of grace

Light glorious light
I will go where You shine
Break the dawn
Crack the skies
Make the way bright before me

Performed by All Sons and Daughters.

Parenting With Purpose: Day 7 – Pursue Progress, Not Perfection

October 8, 2014 By LeeAnn G. Taylor

Today for the Parenting With Purpose series, I have one challenge for you:

In your parenting, embrace freedom from your own unreasonable expectations.

Pursue progress, not perfection!

Embrace freedom from your own unreasonable expectations. Pursue progress, not perfection!

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This has been an ongoing struggle for me, starting when I was pregnant with our first baby. I read books, checked in on forums, flipped through magazines, listened to podcasts, and in general devoured anything on pregnancy and parenting I could get my hands on.

It was an exhausting endeavor.

Today I’m sharing with you a post I wrote one night after my kids had cake for dinner and I finally realized it was okay if my kids didn’t eat the perfectly balanced diet every day. If you can relate, I’d love for you to let me know in the comments.

Let’s encourage one another in this purpose-driven but progress-focused journey and toss perfectionism out the window!

My Kids Ate Cake For Dinner & Why It’s Really Okay

Embrace Freedom or the Prison of Perfection?

After reading Emily Freeman’s book Grace for the Good Girl this past winter, I realized I can’t possibly meet the laundry list of unreasonable expectations I set for myself.

It happens on a daily basis.

My ideal situation collides with my reality and I’m faced with a decision; do I succumb to the feelings of inadequacy and fear of “what if” or do I change my perspective, look at the moment for what it is, and embrace freedom from my self-induced personal prison of perfection?

More and more, I’m choosing the later. And when I do, the version of myself striving for perfection in every area of my life shrinks a bit and the true me, the one that lives in flesh and blood in a fallen world, comes to life.

As a result, on occasion my kids have cake for dinner. And I’m okay with it. {Click to read the rest of the post…}

Sharing today with Meredith at Woman2Woman Wednesday.

The Life Broom: The Lord’s Blessing

September 25, 2014 By LeeAnn G. Taylor

It’s my nightly ritual.

After the whirlwind that is usually dinnertime, the kids get up and I get out the trusty kitchen broom. With a 2 and a 5 year old in the house, it’s inevitable that more than just a few crumbs make it to the floor.

photo credit: reb via photopin cc

My sister, a mom of 3 under age five, says she has the solution…2 dogs! While I think I’d love their nightly under-the-table clean up, I don’t think I’m quite ready to trade that for dog hair all over the house and frequent vet bills. Somehow the benefit cancels itself out!

Last night as I swept up a hefty pile of shredded cheese, the tops of strawberries, and a stray macaroni noodle from the kitchen floor, I thought about how great it would be if we had a “life broom” to sweep up all our messes each day.

Wouldn’t that be great?

No matter what “mess” we made of the day at home, at work, or at school, we’d just get out the “life broom,” sweep it all up, and wa-la! No more mess.

The angry words, jealous thoughts, rude comments, misplaced priorities, and relational mishaps – gone, swept into the garbage can to be hauled out to the street on trash day and carried off.

While we all know this isn’t how life works, aren’t you incredibly grateful that despite how each day goes, the next day we have another chance to rein in our thoughts, think before we act, and intentionally grow our most important relationships instead of tearing them down?

Daily Blessing: Jesus can sweep up all our messes…every day! Lamentations 3:22-23

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What a blessing this scripture is to those of us who call Jesus our Lord:

Lamentations 3:22-23

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;

    his mercies never come to an end;

they are new every morning;

    great is your faithfulness.
Today, remember the truth that God’s love is steadfast – resolutely or dutifully firm and unwavering. 
His mercy – deliverance from judgment – is new every morning. 
His faithfulness allows us to continue to trust Him in the little things (and the big!) in our lives.
God is the master housekeeper. Friends, let’s allow him into our lives today with his “life broom” – accept His love and mercy daily and remember His faithfulness in the past and your life today!

To Restore Your Soul {A Sunday Scripture}

September 21, 2014 By LeeAnn G. Taylor

Yesterday as I sat through the funeral service of a dear friend and former co-worker, I was reminded of the power of this passage of scripture.
May these words restore your soul today as you reflect on God’s presence in your life, protection over your life, and provision for your life.
photo credit: Waiting For The Word via photopin cc
Psalm 23
The Lord is my shepherd;

I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;

He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul;

He leads me in the paths of righteousness

For His name’s sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord
Forever.