I’ve lived in fear as long as I can remember.
Somehow, it seemed easier to live in that place.
Sure, it was overwhelming and even soul crushing at times, but it felt safe.
It’s odd, really, now that I think about it.
To stay in the very place where you’re actively drowning, not even trying to come up for air. Not even wondering what it would be like to take a breath, swim to shore, stand up, and walk confidently on solid ground.
For many years, it was easier to swirl around in uncertain waters, occasionally treading water and looking around to see if anyone else might be considering swimming to shore.
Fear kept me locked into the lie that I didn’t have anything special to share like the others who had decided to be brave and swim.
I feared failure and instead of embracing my weaknesses and allowing God to work through me, I held onto the notion that I could control my life, leading to years of perfectionism and shaming myself when I didn’t measure up to my own standards.
I’m in a different place now. One where I can come up for air, swim for shore, and walk confidently on the path God is preparing for me, one step at a time.
It took years of inner turmoil and more uncertainty than I ever could have imagined, but I’m learning to be brave. Instead of walking in fear, I’m trusting each day that God’s promises are true and his plans and purposes for my life are more grand than anything I could construct on my own.
The new year has welcomed in a refreshing confidence that part of my journey of releasing fear and walking in Christ’s freedom is to write and encourage others. To be brave despite the potential for rejection, criticism, or doubt.
And so, I write.
And I share this story within me because it is spilling out in waves. The same waves that once were crashing around me as I sank deeper in fear are now gently washing me to the shore with the promise of hope and renewal.
*This post is part of Lisa-Jo Baker’s 5 Minute Friday series, where she empowers bloggers to write for 5 minutes each Friday on a specific topic. Free writing. Writing just for the sheer joy of it. Today’s topic was “Write“. Also sharing with Essential Fridays, First Friday Finds, Fridays Unfolded, The Weekend Brew and Faith-Filled Friday.
What fears are you overcoming? What is one way you can be brave and walk on solid ground in God’s grace this week? Share in the comments & let’s encourage one another!
I can relate to this post so much. My breaking the chains of fear story is at the very beginning, but it is so refreshing and hope-building to read about about those standing on solid ground. Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing your heart.
Glad to hear I’m not the only one struggling with this issue and thanks for sharing your encouragement!
Beautiful writing! I was once a person who compared myself to others. Then one day I realized God made me and therefore who I was going to be once He was allowed entrance could not be matched to any other being he had made before or after me. We’re all beautiful in our uniqueness. That really helped lessen all the fears the world put on me. I enjoy your posts lady!
Comparison is really the downfall of so many of us! As women, this seems to be something well all do well (not something to brag about for sure!). But once we embrace who we are in Christ and the fact that God has big plans for us, it opens us up to such freedom. Glad you’re enjoying the blog. Thanks for commenting!
Fear has torment and I know this first hand. Thank God because like you I have left that place and now trust God to show HIS strength in my weakness and lead me into my destiny.
Great post LeeAnn, thanks a lot for sharing and have a super blessed day!
Love
I so appreciate your words. Fear, voices from the basement, comparison are all about me, myself and I. Stepping out in faith and being brave is all about Him and knowing He goes before us.
(This was my first Five Minute Friday Writing experience. I was blessed to find all of you ladies!)
Welcome to Five Minute Friday! I’m a newbie too, as this blog is a baby (just launched in January) but I’ve found the FMF community to be wonderfully supportive!
Way to be brave, my new friend! Thank you for your inspirational entry. Ridding ourselves of that turmoil is so freeing, isn’t it?
thank you so much for this post…I completely resonated with every word that was written…I hope resonated is the correct word choice…I was never great in vocabulary! 🙂 I’m so excited to see God doing to my heart and in my life exactly what was written above! He is so good and I’m so thankful knowing that He who has called me is faithful to do what He began!
So glad this post resonated with you! It’s definitely exciting to see God working in our hearts to sweep out the cobwebs and make room for new life and experiences in the future!
I’m afraid of failing at the role of “wife”. I’ve seen my mother crash and burn through too many marriages and it scares me! I don’t want to be a failure. I thank God everyday for his graces!! Your writing is beautiful and relatable. Thanks for sharing your heart!
Oh Jessica, I just love your heart and your sincere desire to be a wonderful wife. It is an honor that I’ll soon get to call you family! Glad we’ll get to share the journey together.
It’s such joy to read how God is moving in your life. I’ve been so encouraged by your posts and grateful to have connected with you in this lovely blogging world. God is using you!!
Blessings.
Thank you so much Beth. Another blogger told me what an encouragement you are to others and they were right! 🙂
Thank you for sharing that, LeeAnn. I was having a rough day yesterday but when your comment came through to my email it lifted my spirits. I’m always so blessed by the encouragement I receive from others and I so want to do the same for others. Have a blessed day.
I can definitely relate to that monster fear, too. For me it’s the fear of comparison, that I will be judged inadequate, not good enough, and no one will take me seriously. I haven’t written the five-minute Friday prompts yet. I think my fear keeps me from it in part. But through this (in)courage group, I hope to begin to be braver about sharing my writing.
Fear is so real and can keep us in chains. Letting go and having the faith that God will keep his promises and he is who he says he is has helped me walk the road toward freedom from those judgements you speak about. Praying you take that step of faith and do what God is calling you to do, despite not feeling “good enough”. Remember Jesus called the most average of people to be his disciples to spread his message to the world. Sometimes the broken vessels are the ones that shine the light the brightest!
This hit the nail on the head for me! Especially how the things that imprison me provide a strange sense of safety. Thanks for sharing!
I’ve lived in that fear, too, LeeAnn. It’s so much better out here beyond the fear. Great post, friend!
fear is a sneaky little devil! i really resonated with your words…and was encouraged! thank you.
I am tired of living in that fear aren’t you ? I am so proud and encouraged by your brave action to step out and face the fear. Thank for sharing and empowering other to be brave too.
LeeAnn,
It’s a blast reading all of these stories about everyone’s path to writing. Looking forward to connecting with you more in the group!
ps A pet bobcat named Linus? What? Really?
The bobcat was from Texas and was someone else’s pet before he was ours, if I remember the story correctly (I was 2, so I’m basing this on stories I remember being told).
Oh and pss Just saw you are in NC. Me too!
Coming by from SITS. This is a great post! I love this…fear can hold us back in so many ways…and it is scary to write and put yourself out there! I am slowly learning how important and freeing it is to be brave and share yourself and share your story!!! This is beautifully written! Looking forward to reading more!! Thanks for being courageous!
Nicely written. Thank you. Sometimes it seems so normal to live in something familiar. But fear or anxiety is not something that God asks of us. He asks something else. He asks devotion and loving trust in His promises
Beautiful post. It’s so amazing to follow God on a transformation journey!
Thanks for sharing at Essential Fridays.
Blessings
Mel from Essential Thing Devotions
Beautiful post, Lee Ann. And very encouraging. This- “For many years, it was easier to swirl around in uncertain waters, occasionally treading water and looking around to see if anyone else might be considering swimming to shore.” is so powerful!
Thank you for sharing at Beauty Observed. I really appreciate it!
Thank you so much for sharing the story of you overcoming you fears. I am learning slowly how to accept myself for who I really am, but its going to take some time.
#SITSBlogging
I’m recently realizing how not alone I am in having fear hold me back. It seems I’m reading about it everywhere… maybe just what I need to hear. Thank you for sharing, and inspiring
You are definitely not alone! So glad this post was a blessing to you!
Great article! It’s true, fear can be incapacitating and crippling. I fear others opinions on my writings, so I try to write, too. 🙂
Stopping by from #SITSBlogging
Lauren
Love this! (Looks like I’m not the only one it resonated with!!) I think we probably all have this fear inside us and all assume that others don’t. I too am working on being brave- thanks for the encouragement!