I’ve lived in fear as long as I can remember.
Somehow, it seemed easier to live in that place.
Sure, it was overwhelming and even soul crushing at times, but it felt safe.
It’s odd, really, now that I think about it.
To stay in the very place where you’re actively drowning, not even trying to come up for air. Not even wondering what it would be like to take a breath, swim to shore, stand up, and walk confidently on solid ground.
For many years, it was easier to swirl around in uncertain waters, occasionally treading water and looking around to see if anyone else might be considering swimming to shore.
Fear kept me locked into the lie that I didn’t have anything special to share like the others who had decided to be brave and swim.
I feared failure and instead of embracing my weaknesses and allowing God to work through me, I held onto the notion that I could control my life, leading to years of perfectionism and shaming myself when I didn’t measure up to my own standards.
I’m in a different place now. One where I can come up for air, swim for shore, and walk confidently on the path God is preparing for me, one step at a time.
It took years of inner turmoil and more uncertainty than I ever could have imagined, but I’m learning to be brave. Instead of walking in fear, I’m trusting each day that God’s promises are true and his plans and purposes for my life are more grand than anything I could construct on my own.
The new year has welcomed in a refreshing confidence that part of my journey of releasing fear and walking in Christ’s freedom is to write and encourage others. To be brave despite the potential for rejection, criticism, or doubt.
And so, I write.
And I share this story within me because it is spilling out in waves. The same waves that once were crashing around me as I sank deeper in fear are now gently washing me to the shore with the promise of hope and renewal.
*This post is part of Lisa-Jo Baker’s 5 Minute Friday series, where she empowers bloggers to write for 5 minutes each Friday on a specific topic. Free writing. Writing just for the sheer joy of it. Today’s topic was “Write“. Also sharing with Essential Fridays, First Friday Finds, Fridays Unfolded, The Weekend Brew and Faith-Filled Friday.
What fears are you overcoming? What is one way you can be brave and walk on solid ground in God’s grace this week? Share in the comments & let’s encourage one another!