The weather was beautiful, warm with the perfect spring breeze, and I muscled the Sit N Stand stroller to the front door to go pick up Salem from preschool. I noticed something unusual with our door and called my husband to inquire.
{Important side note: Our house is for sale and has been for many months. It’s only been shown once.}
It was only then he decided to tell me about the realtor who had called the day before at 3:05 wanting to show our house at 3:30 the same day. Both of us were at work.
Now you tell me…do you normally leave your house in “okay to be shown to a potential buyer” condition when you leave for work on a Wednesday morning? Ok, me neither.
I cringed to think about the laundry piled in baskets on the floor, our unmade bed, the towels on the bathroom counter, Salem’s bedroom littered with an array of random “treasures” and the pallet on the floor she’s been sleeping on for the last few nights to “campout”. It occurred to me there might have even been a wet diaper on my son’s changing table. {cringe}
“You have got to be kidding me!” went through my head, along with a variety of other comments I wanted to make to my husband, but refrained for the health of our marriage.
Some stranger just entered our house and viewed our mess in all of its imperfect glory. Not okay in my book.
Sure, we had friends over on Sunday night and the house was far from perfect – piles of winter clothes graced the hallway waiting to be stashed in the attic for next year. The kitchen floor would have seriously benefited from a broom in the capable hands of my husband, the resident sweeper, but who were we kidding? Between the two of our families, we have 3 kids under the age of 5 who were going to dump half of their food on the floor before we were finished with dinner anyway.
When my friend Brittany called our house a “judgement free zone,” I knew I was on the right track. Sure, I like to tidy up before people come over, but even if there’s not time for that, our friends are welcome.
I’m learning to relax in the company of my closest friends and let them into my “mess”.
Ya’ll. This is new for me! I’ve spent years, years, making sure our house was just so before inviting people over. If it wasn’t for some reason, my stress level would go through the roof. But I’ve declared war on perfectionism, so not anymore!
I’ve learned that it’s building relationships that counts, not what my house looks like!
Lately I’ve embraced The Nester’s motto about our home: It doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful. And it’s true. I’m a recovering perfectionist and this is a struggle for me. My soul just feels more at peace when the dishes are done, the floor is swept, the counters are clear, and my bed is made. But what if I waited for everything to be just perfect to let people into our home, into our lives? Yep, it would never happen!
Yes, our mess drives me crazy sometimes but I have to be careful not to allow it to keep me from fostering and nurturing one of the most important things in our lives – loving people and sharing our lives with them.
But what if I waited until all the stars were aligned and everything in my life seemed perfectly ready for me to do what God is calling me to do?
I’d never make a difference. And my life would never shine His glory. And friends, Matthew 5:16 tells us that’s what it’s all about!
Oh, what a tragedy to miss out on something as extraordinary as the ministry of Mercy House, a maternity home in Kenya providing alternative options for pregnant girls living in the streets of Kenya. Mercy House aids them in education, nutrition, housing, prenatal care, Bible study, counseling and job skills for sustainable living. Incredible!
No, that’s not what God is calling ME to say “YES” to, but it IS God’s dream for Kristen Welch and her family.
A self-described “ordinary” person with struggles, brokenness, fears, anxiety – the whole bit – Kristen did one thing differently than many of us. God asked her to use her ordinary life – mess and all – and turned her obedience – her “YES” – into something “extra”ordinary.
One step at a time, one prayer at a time, one “yes” at a time, God used Kristen’s life to change the world. She tells the story in her new book Rhinestone Jesus: Saying Yes to God When Sparkly Safe Faith is Not Enough.
Rhinestone Jesus is a peak into Kristen’s heart as she shares candidly how God turned her from a “good girl,” a teenager on fire for God but content to live a “safe” Christian life, into a woman broken through life’s challenges and unexpected experiences, now willing to say “yes” to God and trust Him in each moment, regardless of the outcome.
The book is a call to authenticity in the Christian walk. She challenges us to push through the fears of “what if” and instead to ask “what next God?” as we move forward one step at a time in faith.
Kristen shares her personal struggles in ministry, motherhood, and marriage and paints a picture of God’s incredible redemption through it all.
Not just a memoir, the book will walk you through your own journey of learning to say “yes” to God’s call by providing thought provoking questions at the end of each chapter that beg for reflection and action.
And for this recovering perfectionist momma, I love this quote from the book:
Saying yes isn’t really about doing it all, it’s about saying yes right where you are.”
That’s it. That’s the answer. I don’t have to get everything right, the stars don’t have to align, and my house doesn’t have to be spotless. I just have to say “yes” in the middle of my mess to whatever God puts in front of me today. One foot in front of the other. One step at a time, saying “yes” to living out my faith authentically.
I am thrilled to have been part of Kristen’s launch team for her book and her publisher Tyndale House has given me a copy to review and a copy to give away to one of you! The giveaway will be open until May 8th and there are several ways to enter below.
*This post is part of Lisa-Jo Baker’s 5 Minute Friday series, where she empowers bloggers to write for 5 minutes each Friday on a specific topic. Free writing. Writing just for the sheer joy of it. Today’s topic was “Mess“. And NO, this definitely didn’t take me the prescribed 5 minutes…but my fellow Five Minute Friday gals encouraged me that there is grace in the mess and to post it anyway! This post also contains affiliate links {full disclosure}. Also sharing with Women of Worship, Fellowship Friday, Beauty Observed, and Sunday Stillness.
Thanks for stopping by my blog! And thanks for the reminder that it’s about building relationships and not how our houses look like. Have a great weekend!
Thank you for sharing and for the give away! I loved your reminder that God wants us right in the middle of our mess so He can shine. I too find myself trying to find that perfect time and place for Him to be a light in my life, all the while overlooking the right here and right now. Thanks again.
The book is so powerful. I hope you win!
I too am trying to let my house to judgment-free, warm and welcoming for friends and family alike.
Wonderful post!
Isn’t that the most important part? Welcoming, warm, and judgement free. That’s how those important relationships are fostered. Thanks for stopping by Joy!
GREAT post. Loved it. Love your REAL-woman heart.
God bless!
Thanks Cheryl! I’m trying to be authentic in this space, but let me tell you, sometimes it is HARD. Those “mess” pictures just make me cringe! 🙂
I’m learning to say yes to what God is building in the middle of my mess. It may not be where I thought I’d be or maybe not even where I want to be, but He is working and I just need to keep saying yes!
That’s the key. He is working and we keep saying yes!
For so many years I drove myself and my family crazy to keep the house cleaned and picked-up just in case someone stopped by. If it wasn’t and I saw someone pull in the drive way I would have my husband met them outside and give me a minute to at least pick up as much as I could. I have begun learning to say yes to my mess.
This is SO HARD for me Amy! I do the exact same thing, even now. Just like everything in life, it’s a process.
I just love the vulnerability of this post! As laid back as I can get, I know it would be instant stress to hear about a showing, knowing what our home looks like now! I’ve had to let go of perfectionism and sometimes get too laid back.
Thank you for sharing your story and the pictures of reality. 🙂
Jolene,
I just LOVED your FMF post. Thank you for sharing your heart as well and your story. It’s in the stories like this one and yours that we connect best.
I can definitely relate to having people in your house and not being able to prepare for it. Years ago when I was selling my house I had several showings when I was at work and I thought I was as prepared as possible for any showings that may come up while I was at work. Well, I also had a cat and I found out she had pooped right on the basement floor and some people viewing my home got to see it. I guess my cat was protesting the move and I know that did not make a good first impression of my home.
Hilarious. That is all. 🙂
I am guilty of not inviting people over because of my mess. The only people who come here are my family and my best friend… I will try to worry less about the very lived in state of my house that keeps me from welcoming people into my life.
It definitely is a balance for me. I like to keep things tidy so it’s welcoming but not too spic-and-span and not-lived-in looking. It’s called a HOME for a reason…we live there! 🙂
You know I am a recovering perfectionist too, and while I may do better than I used to, I am still very much a work in progress, but I too have seen God work in the midst of my mess, and in the mess of others and I firmly believe He has used my family, my home, and my circumstances to teach me that He is bigger than any mess I have ever gotten myself into. Thanks for the encouragement you provide here!
oh Leeann…we have so many of the same struggles… praying for you as keep on working in your mess and I hope you’ll pray for me as I keep on working in mine!!
Yes indeed. So good to see you today! 🙂
Hi! Stopping by from FMF. I love this… “I’m a recovering perfectionist.” I might have to borrow that one!
Oh yes, I have to call myself “recovering” because it really has been a sin in my life that I’ve had to deal with (and still do!) on a daily basis. Borrow away! 🙂
totally understand! and thanks! 😉
LeeAnn, I’m so glad you wrote this! What a beautiful look into the mess of daily life and the realization it can’t be perfect before we let others in or we’ll never be able to let others in. I’ve been this same way, totally freaking out before company to get things “just so” and in the end it wouldn’t have mattered. I still struggle, but I’m getting better. 😉 I would have gone into convulsions if I had had the same thing happen to me with a realtor showing my house un-announced. Truly. You are an example in grace! 🙂 So…I will promise WHEN you come to visit the farm, you will see my mess and be in great company. 😉
Can’t wait to read that book. Great review…makes me KNOW I need to read it.
Blessings,
Meredith
Well I supposed there wasn’t much I could do AFTER the fact (the realtor showing our house). There is a reason why my husband never told me initially! He knew I would completely freak out!
And yes, WHEN we come to visit…
Thank you for sharing. I seldom have people over because I fear the state of my home, and when I do, I spend hours cleaning. Thank you for offering the giveaway.
Oh Barbie,
There is so much grace in allowing people into our spaces when it’s not perfect. I’ve found that not only has it grown ME, it’s given my friends the space to say “okay, great, I’m not perfect either!” It’s definitely a growing process!
I’m excited about the giveaway too. It’s my first (and there will be another one coming this week!).
I love this. Learning to living right where you are – mess and all. Believe me there will be a time when you long for the mess again. When my grandkids are coming I do not clean up – because I know that after they leave I will really need to deep clean. I can relax and let them play not thinking “I just cleaned that!”.
I would love you to link to Sunday Stillness https://www.janiscox.com/sunday-stillness-romans-109/
Blessings,
Janis
Thanks Janis, that is great wisdom! I know they grow in the blink of an eye and I’m trying to be grateful, sitting here in the den/office/playroom with blocks strewn everywhere and baskets made into a “fort”. It just shows there are little ones growing and exploring under foot!
Would love to read this book!:) “I don’t have to get everything right, the stars don’t have to align, and my house doesn’t have to be spotless. I just have to say “yes” in the middle of my mess to whatever God puts in front of me today.”- This, yes!:)
Adding this to my list of books to read! I am a recovering perfectionist and learning that even though my life doesn’t look like I want it to look doesn’t mean that God isn’t using me in big ways right now. Right now I need to say yes to His plans for me, instead of just praying that my plans will become His plans.
Oh yes, it IS hard sometimes not to pray that our plans become His plans.
Saying yes to having company for dinner is a thing of the past. We haven’t entertained guests in I-don’t-know-when. Funny that this is more common among woman than I realized. I always feel everyone else has it all together and I’m the one who’s not worthy of allowing those barriers to come down.
Oh gal, none of have it “all together” and I’m learning I might as well invite people over instead of miss out on cherished “in person” time together!
I would probably cringe at the thought of strangers parading through my house on any given day! Praying they call back to buy 🙂
I love the idea of not having to have a perfect house for it to be beautiful-and to be your own. I’ll be thinking about that when the imperfections of my new place start wearing me down. It’s just character, right? 🙂
Yep Jen, I still cringe when I think about it! I just told my husband this morning, after looking around our stuff-strewn house…no showings today, okay?! 🙂
“I’ve learned that it’s building relationships that counts, not what my house looks like!” Amen! Remembering my house doesn’t need to be perfect to have friends over is something I’m still working on but I’m grateful for the progress God is making in me. I had friends over last weekend and burned our dinner and loved that the girls said, just add some more water and the taco meal will be fine. And it was. Great message, LeeAnn.