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The four of us piled in our blue 10-year old mini-van and settled in for the 20 minute drive home.
The day had been a long one, filled with the kind of relationship-building and memory-making our family relishes.
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A big Saturday morning breakfast as a family, a birthday party for the daughter of a couple we adore, an extended family cookout including swimming for the littles, a baby shower for my cousin, and another birthday party cookout for the daughter of a set of dear friends that included three pregnant mammas and 8 kiddos under the age of 8 resulted in an incredibly full day.
After three meals of hot dogs and three servings of celebratory cake in the span of eight hours, we were all sugared up and wired but exhausted from all the fun.
And that’s when I made a critical mistake. I started talking about our family finances.
I know, I know. Bad move.
I should know now not to bring up finances when we’re already physically at the end of our rope for the day, but I had some new information about a financial situation surrounding our health insurance that I had forgotten to share with my husband and felt like we needed to discuss. Right then.
But in a span of minutes, our demeanors morphed from cheerful to irritated as a result of a string of misunderstood comments and ill-placed assumptions.
For a moment, I felt like the day was ruined. A whole day of wonderful family memories, spoiled by a few minutes of frustrated conversation over a situation neither of us have any control over. What a shame.
Instead, we remembered Billy Graham’s wife’s secret to a happy marriage. And took action.
“A happy marriage is the union of two great forgivers.” – Ruth Bell Graham
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We took decisive action to change our perspective on the conversation, realizing both of us were depleted from the long day and deciding to come back to the topic when we were both fresh and able to communicate more clearly.
It took us choosing to forgive each others’ poor attitudes and snide remarks for the evening to be spared.
Next time you are frustrated with your spouse’s or a friend’s faults, remember the Bible’s clear direction on how to handle these situations.
Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Colossians 3:13 (NLT)
Ruth Bell Graham had it right. Both for marriages and for great friendships.
Today, as you interact with your spouse, friends, and family, remember to make allowance for faults and be quick to forgive. It might just be your “secret weapon” for relationship success!
Do you have any tips to share on forgiving? What other relational “tools” do you have in your toolbox to foster healthy relationships? Share in the comments.
Also, “Making Room for Forgiveness” is one of 10 practices Bill Hybel discusses in his new book Simplify: Ten Practices to Unclutter Your Soul. I’ll be sharing more about this book soon because I’ve grown so much from working through the ten practices & I’m confident you will too. {I received a review copy from Tyndale & link is an affiliate link.}