perspective Archives - LeeAnn G Taylor - Embracing the Mosaic Life

Praising God in the Storm :: Our Miscarriage Story

August 27, 2015 By LeeAnn G. Taylor

Lately a friend reminded me of the power of telling our stories. Stories are the essential connection between people. Shared experiences remind us we’re not alone in this sometimes scary world.

Today I’m sharing one of my stories, one of pain in the moment and how Chuck and I chose to praise God in the middle of our storm. Now, 7 years and 3 beautiful babies later, I realize it was the first of many experiences God used to grow our faith and highlight His faithfulness in our lives.

July 2, 2008

It has been a long few weeks filled with every emotion imaginable. On May 15th, Chuck and I found out we were expecting our first child, due Jan 10th. We were so excited…our “five year plan” of starting a family after five years of marriage was falling right into place.

We kept the news pretty quiet, only telling our parents, our sisters, and a few close friends, until we had our first doctor’s appointment. I think that I thought the news that we were going to have a baby was going to really sink in once we had that first appointment.

What started as excited anticipation during that first visit quickly became nervous anticipation as our doctor became concerned that I was having some early complications. An ultrasound was scheduled for later that same afternoon.

I know it was the “peace that passes understanding” because I went back to work and was calm while waiting for the ultrasound appointment. Chuck, on the other hand, would tell me later that he had a feeling that something was very wrong.

The ultrasound later confirmed this when a heartbeat could not be detected. I should have been 7-8 weeks along. After a devastating conversation with our doctor, I had some blood work done and we headed home to share the news.

The next few weeks proved to be a rollercoaster of emotions, with more blood work and two more ultrasounds. My pregnancy hormones kept rising, but the baby was not growing properly and we could still hear no heartbeat.

The hardest part was not knowing what or how to feel, since at each appointment we were given a small ray of hope that the baby might be okay…maybe we were not as far along as they thought…maybe this, maybe that. It was more proof that only God knows us intimately, and medical science, though helpful, cannot always give us the answers.

Eventually last week we were told that the baby was not growing and that we should expect a miscarriage. After a week of waiting, I began to miscarry.

Through this all we have had an amazing support network of family and friends. God has continually placed people in our path who have been through similar experiences or who knew just what we needed to be comforted at that moment.

Although we are sad at the loss of this little child, we know God has more plans for us and our family.

I have been and will continue to cling to this verse:

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge HIM and he will make your paths straight.”

Although we may not always understand, we must trust God and acknowledge His sovereignty over all situations, even this one.

Friends, it’s time we share our stories. Let’s lift up God working in our lives and shine His grace and glory!

What can YOU praise him for today? Share in the comments and let’s encourage one another to view our lives through the lens of gratefulness, despite our difficult circumstances.

Finding God in the Seeking {Worship Wednesday}

February 24, 2015 By LeeAnn G. Taylor

Are there days you question everything? Well, maybe not everything, but do you question whether or not you have any idea what you’re doing at this thing called life?

Oh wait, maybe that IS questioning everything…

Well, that’s me sometimes. So many questions swirl around in my head. At times the doubts become a tornado of thoughts that spin completely out of control. And I wonder.

Am I a good enough wife?

Am I a good enough parent?

Am I a good enough daughter/sister?

Am I a good enough friend/coworker?

My husband says I can be overly critical of myself. In reflecting on his observation, I’m learning I have a tendency to set expectations that are too high for myself. I doubt my own ability to become the best version of myself I’ve created in my mind. I forget on a regular basis to give myself grace.

In reality, I think what’s really happening is I’m trying to rely on myself.

In the past I’ve felt that somehow I should have already “arrived” at the strong relationship with God I’m seeking. I should already know the perfect thing to say to my 2 year old in the middle of the fifth tantrum of the day that will point him to Jesus. I should already know how to be the thoughtful and generous friend I desire to be. I should already have the perfect morning quiet time I’ve imagined a hundred times in my head.

I should, I should, I should.

All the expectations I have of myself can be crippling!

I know dwelling on “shoulds” and my own doubts is not particularly beneficial nor productive. Instead of focusing on the destination (the “I’ve arrived!” moments), I’m learning to find God in the seeking.

Sometimes we find God where we least expect him, in the middle of our seeking.

Click To Tweet

And so, instead of looking toward myself for the answers when I feel like I just don’t measure up to my own unattainable standards, I’m looking to the Truth instead.

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. ~ Jeremiah 29:13

Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. ~ Matthew 7:7-12

I read these words and my soul feels a little more rest, just a little more at peace. The answer is right in front of me. I just need to know Him.

I’m learning that it’s a process. I need to keep on asking and seeking before I will find what I’m looking for.

And as I continue to feast on the bread of Truth, I will find Him in the seeking.

It is my prayer for you that you too find God in the seeking. I pray that together we learn to lay down our self-reliant, self-sufficient mindsets and remember who gives us life and breath to begin with. May today’s Worship Wednesday song remind us of how desperately we all need Him.

Oh How I Need You

Lord I find You in the seeking
Lord I find You in the doubt
And to know You is to love You
And to know so little else

I need You
Oh how I need You
Oh how I need You
Oh how I need You

Lord I find You in the morning
Lord I seek You everyday
Let my life be for Your glory
Woven in your threads of grace

Light glorious light
I will go where You shine
Break the dawn
Crack the skies
Make the way bright before me

Performed by All Sons and Daughters.

Exploring the Importance of Soul Care

September 28, 2014 By LeeAnn G. Taylor

I sat still, so close to the keyboard and the microphone with the melodies floating through the air in the old barn, my soul transfixed in the moment of worship. Surrounded by beauty, the beauty of the place and the beauty of the people, my soul stirred within me as the evening darkened around us.

I found myself grateful.

Grateful for the space, for the time away from the mundane, for space for my soul to breathe.

The words of the hymn “Be Thou My Vision” slipped past my lips, a harmony rang out and my heart swelled with the truths in the ancient words.

Yes. This is what I desire.

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;

It is true that the day to day sometimes squelches our souls.

On our best days, we care for our body with proper nutrition and exercise and then in the same day, neglect our spirit. And we wonder why we feel empty inside.

Instead of that emptiness, today my soul experienced life.

What a gift to be in the presence of life-giving souls like Emily Freeman and Christa Wells for the At the Barn: A Day for Writers event. Emily and Christa offered truth through story and song with humility and refreshing authenticity. They’re faithfully living out God’s calling on their lives, using the gifts and talents God’s blessed them with and sharing their lives openly with others.

Their lives are a beautiful picture of how God uses our own brokenness and imperfections to continue to draw others closer to Him. Often much to our surprise, He uses us in spite of our weaknesses and sometimes even because of them.

So friends, I implore you. It’s time to prioritize the care of our souls.

God created us in His image, we are to be His image-bearers. To carry out that calling on our lives, we must pay attention to the status of our souls. We must listen to the still, small voice of the Holy Spirit within us and allow His presence to be our Guide and Comforter and we learn to calibrate our souls once again.

Join me in reflecting on these words and the music and determine what small step you will take today to care for your soul.

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;
Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;
Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.

The Life Broom: The Lord’s Blessing

September 25, 2014 By LeeAnn G. Taylor

It’s my nightly ritual.

After the whirlwind that is usually dinnertime, the kids get up and I get out the trusty kitchen broom. With a 2 and a 5 year old in the house, it’s inevitable that more than just a few crumbs make it to the floor.

photo credit: reb via photopin cc

My sister, a mom of 3 under age five, says she has the solution…2 dogs! While I think I’d love their nightly under-the-table clean up, I don’t think I’m quite ready to trade that for dog hair all over the house and frequent vet bills. Somehow the benefit cancels itself out!

Last night as I swept up a hefty pile of shredded cheese, the tops of strawberries, and a stray macaroni noodle from the kitchen floor, I thought about how great it would be if we had a “life broom” to sweep up all our messes each day.

Wouldn’t that be great?

No matter what “mess” we made of the day at home, at work, or at school, we’d just get out the “life broom,” sweep it all up, and wa-la! No more mess.

The angry words, jealous thoughts, rude comments, misplaced priorities, and relational mishaps – gone, swept into the garbage can to be hauled out to the street on trash day and carried off.

While we all know this isn’t how life works, aren’t you incredibly grateful that despite how each day goes, the next day we have another chance to rein in our thoughts, think before we act, and intentionally grow our most important relationships instead of tearing them down?

Daily Blessing: Jesus can sweep up all our messes…every day! Lamentations 3:22-23

Click To Tweet

What a blessing this scripture is to those of us who call Jesus our Lord:

Lamentations 3:22-23

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;

    his mercies never come to an end;

they are new every morning;

    great is your faithfulness.
Today, remember the truth that God’s love is steadfast – resolutely or dutifully firm and unwavering. 
His mercy – deliverance from judgment – is new every morning. 
His faithfulness allows us to continue to trust Him in the little things (and the big!) in our lives.
God is the master housekeeper. Friends, let’s allow him into our lives today with his “life broom” – accept His love and mercy daily and remember His faithfulness in the past and your life today!

Angry? 3 Things To Do Before You React

August 31, 2014 By LeeAnn G. Taylor

I listen as my 5 year old lists her favorite things about the first week of kindergarten.

Art. Gym. Library. Recess. Spanish class.

My heart is filled with joy as I recognize she’s entered a new stage and so far, she’s loving it!

But me?

It only took two days of public school for me to find myself very angry with a newly implemented school policy.

2 days.

My joy-filled heart over my daughter’s love of school turned foul quickly after listening to a simple school-wide voicemail and I knew I had to get a handle on my emotions – and quick!

Time for an adjustment to my perspective.

While I certainly don’t get this right every time, I’m sharing three tactics to use for maintaining perspective when you find anger rising up in your heart.

1. Reach In

When I experience those first feelings of anger, I know I have just a split second to decide how I’m going to react. It’s that initial trigger that stops me in my tracks and helps me start to reframe the situation to gain perspective.

Andy Stanley, in his book Enemies of the Heart, describes anger as a situation in which we feel like others owe us something. When you start to feel anger bubbling up inside, take a minute to consider what you feel like the other person or organization you’re angry with might owe you. Then decide whether or not that’s actual truth or your heart lying to you.

This pause gives you time to use the other two tactics and prevent overreacting and doing or saying something you’ll regret later.

2. Reach Out

After recognizing my anger with the school policy this week, the next step I took was to call my husband. He’s my rock and the one I turn to when I need a hefty dose of perspective.

photo credit: Josep Ma. Rosell via photopin cc

Maybe for you reaching out to another person might be a trusted friend or mentor, but regardless of which wise person in your life you choose, reaching out is essential. While this is not the time to gossip about a situation, a wise godly person will help you talk out a situation, calm down a bit, and help you plan your steps moving forward before you act in anger.

In my situation, my husband helped me slow down, reassess the situation, and realize there was a simple solution. In mere minutes, my anger subsided!

3. Reach Up

When we’re angry, why do we often forget to reach up to our creator, the God who made us and knows us inside and out?

photo credit: ce matin, un lapin via photopin cc

I’m learning (ever so slowly) to reach up to God and remember that it’s His Spirit living within me who gives me power to do things I wouldn’t have the strength or power to do on my own.

When we take the time to remember The Comforter is with us, living IN us, it takes our anger down a notch and begs us to reflect on God’s truths instead of the lies we may be believing in the midst of our anger.

When my anxieties multiply, your comforting calms me down. Psalm 94:19

Click To Tweet

What about you? What do you do when anger rises up in your heart to make sure you don’t overreact? Share in the comments so we can all grow together!

Sharing today with Five Minute Friday {Reach} and Essential Fridays. Note, this post contains affiliate links. If you click the link and make a purchase, our family receives a small percentage of your sale (at no cost to you). We’re in the middle of radically trusting God in our finances, and every little bit helps toward our goal of financial freedom so we can faithfully follow God’s lead in our lives. Thanks for your support!

Change Is All About Perspective

August 22, 2014 By LeeAnn G. Taylor

She takes my hand, walks me up the stairs, and leads me through the halls of the elementary school that will become her daily educational home in just a few short days.

It’s Open House night and although to most kindergarteners, everything is new, she walks confidently after spending four weeks in a summer program housed within these walls.

All the sudden I am grateful for those four weeks and for how comfortable she is in a new place with new people all around.

We arrive at the kindergarten hall and find her classroom. Her teacher is new. Not new to teaching or to kindergarten, thankfully, but new to the school. A swarm of last minute kindergarten enrollments sent the classroom size soaring over 23+ and the school scrambled to hire another teacher to add another classroom of kids.

We’re right on time and Ms. Nettles greets us warmly.

She is short in stature but big in personality and I can tell already it’s going to be a good year. She’s attentive and kind and, while a bit overwhelmed at the whirlwind she’s been placed in, she seems completely capable of jumping right in and readying the classroom for the kids to arrive next week.

I do my parent-ly duty, sitting in the tiny blue chair at the tiny table, filling out form upon form upon form, picking up car rider tags, talking to cafeteria ladies about nut allergies and the nut-free table, meeting with the nurse about medications, and sending my husband to collect information about the PTA and various school clubs.

After the whirlwind of papers subsides and we make it back to the minivan, I take a breath.

This is really happening. My little one is really a big girl and is going to school. It’s year one of many years of education with other adults who I pray care about her development just a fraction as much as I do.

And I realize. Change, well it’s not only coming…it’s here!

And just as I’ve been learning in other areas of my life, it’s my PERSPECTIVE that makes the difference as to how we handle the changes that come into our lives.

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” -Wayne W. Dyer

Click To Tweet

What things in your life do you need to look at differently?

Maybe you need to be reminded of God’s promises in your life. Or maybe you just need a friend to talk to to gain some perspective on your situation. Whatever it is, I challenge you today to take some time to change the way you looks at things.

You never know, the things you look at…well, they might just CHANGE!

This post is part of Five Minute Friday. Today’s writing prompt was Change. Also sharing with Beauty Observed, Faith & Fellowship Friday, and Essential Fridays.