struggles Archives - LeeAnn G Taylor - Embracing the Mosaic Life

Conquering Fear with Faith Requires Action

September 20, 2015 By LeeAnn G. Taylor

This week my sister-in-law received news no woman wants to hear.

After going in for a mammogram to address some changes she’d been experiencing the last few months, she was referred for a 3D ultrasound and then for a biopsy later in the week.

She called me, thanking me for encouraging her to follow up on the unusual symptoms that prompted the initial visit to her GYN doctor. She also asked me to pray for her. The uncertainty evident in her voice, we both knew the results of this test could indicate a serious health concern, one no one wants to talk about at the young age of 36.

As a single mom of three kids ages 16, 13, and 11, the “what if’s” whirled. At the same time though, everything in her fought to trust the God who she knew had gotten her through a plethora of arduous situations the last few years.

The fear was there, yes. But she determined in her heart to not let the fear rule. Instead, she chose faith. And choosing faith in the middle of a trial requires action.

Choosing faith in the middle of a trial requires action.

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She chose to reach out to other believers to request prayer for specific needs and to focus her mind on God’s truths.

She asked for peace to replace the fear threatening to take over her thoughts.
She asked for patience as she awaited biopsy results.
She asked for favorable test results.
She asked for strength to walk whatever path was ahead.

In the middle of her trial, when it might have felt easier to try to attempt to control the situation and Google her way to the answers of looming questions, she chose to lean on faith instead of giving into the fear of the unknown.

Whether it’s a medical scare, a period of financial uncertainty, or a broken relationship, it only takes one trying situation for fear to take over our thoughts and wreak havoc on the peace in our heart.

Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us…

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.

God’s word reminds us that we’re NOT going to understand everything that happens in this life. But you know, I don’t think we’re supposed to understand everything.

Trusting God is an integral part of growing in faith.

Learning to acknowledge Him in the middle of our trials squelches the fear that is human nature and replaces it with a growing measure of faith.

Our confidence in His provision for our lives grows as we walk through trials. We seek Him, pushing away fear, and embracing an active faith in the One who created us and loves us unconditionally.

I’m not going to pretend this is easy!

In my life, this looks like daily submission to God’s ways, remembering He is in control, not me. However sometimes I really struggle to remember!

I’ve found that constant visual reminders really help. Scripture on my shower curtain and pillows on the couch and in my office chair bring God’s truth to my mind during the day and help to quiet my overly anxious heart. Scripture on the walls helps too.

For me, the process of pushing away fear and instead embracing a growing faith has been just that, a process. I’m learning the importance of trusting God to make good on His promises to make all things work for good in my life (Romans 8:28).

What about you? What helps you combat fear in your life and instead trust God as you grow in faith?

Thank you to Family Christian for providing pillows for the photos for this post from their new home goods line. Affiliate links are included in this post. When you click and purchase, I receive a very small percentage of the sale at no extra cost to you. These funds help keep the doors open here at The Mosaic Life and support Eva, our Compassion International child in Columbia.

Dear Frazzled Mom, You Are Not Alone!

September 3, 2015 By LeeAnn G. Taylor

Today I’m sharing a guest post from my sister, Meghan. She is a work-from-home mom living in Franklin, TN with her husband and three kids, ages 1, 3, and 5, and two black labs. She spends her time serving at her church, putting back together things her son has taken apart, remodeling her fixer-upper home, and giving up on trying to keep shoes on her kids.

Dear Frazzled Mom, (…from one Frazzled Mom to another…)

For those of you feeling a little down today or like you just can’t get things right, let me give you a little grace and humor by basking in my failures today.

Picked up RK (3) from pre-school today and her teacher informed me that:

1. her pants were on backwards (because she dressed herself this morning) and

2. she didn’t have any panties underneath said backwards pants (because she dressed herself this morning…and her drawer was empty b/c the clean panties are in a basket on the floor).

Evidently, she provided all the teachers with a good laugh today b/c her pants were a little big, so there was a lot of plumbers crack today in class. Bless.

After pick-up, I realize my gas light is on and I have exactly enough gas to get to Costco to fill up. Pull into Costco as it rolls to “0 miles” on my tank. Yay! Until I realize I have my Costco card, my drivers license, my checkbook, but not my wallet with the only form of payment Costco accepts (cards).

How does that even happen??

I don’t have enough gas to get back home or even to another gas station. I don’t have cash to pay someone.

So today I was “that person” who got to humbly ask the person next to me if I could use his credit card to put $10 in my tank and I would write him a check for $10 because I had no gas in my tank. He looked at me like I was crazy, I acknowledged that yes, it was a crazy request, but I didn’t know what else to do.

He mumbled something about things like this happening at the Wal-Mart gas station…not Costco. Then graciously accepted my check for $10 while I tried to avoid the stares of the other 6 people who overheard the conversation. I seriously considered showing him a screenshot of my bank account so he would believe me when I told him the check was good.

Oh. my. goodness. What has happened to my brain? And y’all. This is not an isolated incident. Things like the first example (not the second…that one’s a little extreme) happen all the time.

So if you ever think that the rest of your friends have it all together and you don’t, think twice, my friends. It’s a facade.

Let’s be real with each other, admit our failures, and extend grace to one another. It makes it easier to laugh instead of cry when we have to bum $10 worth of gas off a stranger to get home.

Finding God in the Seeking {Worship Wednesday}

February 24, 2015 By LeeAnn G. Taylor

Are there days you question everything? Well, maybe not everything, but do you question whether or not you have any idea what you’re doing at this thing called life?

Oh wait, maybe that IS questioning everything…

Well, that’s me sometimes. So many questions swirl around in my head. At times the doubts become a tornado of thoughts that spin completely out of control. And I wonder.

Am I a good enough wife?

Am I a good enough parent?

Am I a good enough daughter/sister?

Am I a good enough friend/coworker?

My husband says I can be overly critical of myself. In reflecting on his observation, I’m learning I have a tendency to set expectations that are too high for myself. I doubt my own ability to become the best version of myself I’ve created in my mind. I forget on a regular basis to give myself grace.

In reality, I think what’s really happening is I’m trying to rely on myself.

In the past I’ve felt that somehow I should have already “arrived” at the strong relationship with God I’m seeking. I should already know the perfect thing to say to my 2 year old in the middle of the fifth tantrum of the day that will point him to Jesus. I should already know how to be the thoughtful and generous friend I desire to be. I should already have the perfect morning quiet time I’ve imagined a hundred times in my head.

I should, I should, I should.

All the expectations I have of myself can be crippling!

I know dwelling on “shoulds” and my own doubts is not particularly beneficial nor productive. Instead of focusing on the destination (the “I’ve arrived!” moments), I’m learning to find God in the seeking.

Sometimes we find God where we least expect him, in the middle of our seeking.

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And so, instead of looking toward myself for the answers when I feel like I just don’t measure up to my own unattainable standards, I’m looking to the Truth instead.

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. ~ Jeremiah 29:13

Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. ~ Matthew 7:7-12

I read these words and my soul feels a little more rest, just a little more at peace. The answer is right in front of me. I just need to know Him.

I’m learning that it’s a process. I need to keep on asking and seeking before I will find what I’m looking for.

And as I continue to feast on the bread of Truth, I will find Him in the seeking.

It is my prayer for you that you too find God in the seeking. I pray that together we learn to lay down our self-reliant, self-sufficient mindsets and remember who gives us life and breath to begin with. May today’s Worship Wednesday song remind us of how desperately we all need Him.

Oh How I Need You

Lord I find You in the seeking
Lord I find You in the doubt
And to know You is to love You
And to know so little else

I need You
Oh how I need You
Oh how I need You
Oh how I need You

Lord I find You in the morning
Lord I seek You everyday
Let my life be for Your glory
Woven in your threads of grace

Light glorious light
I will go where You shine
Break the dawn
Crack the skies
Make the way bright before me

Performed by All Sons and Daughters.

I Need You: A Challenge to Radically Trust God

July 16, 2014 By LeeAnn G. Taylor

At midnight last night my husband Chuck quietly arrived in our bedroom after a long day of work. He scooped up our 5 year old, who had managed to snuggle up next to me close enough that I had just a sliver of our king sized bed to myself, and he deposited her back into her bed.

As usual, as he was getting ready for bed I asked about the highlights of his day because, let’s be honest, what else am I going to remember at midnight about his day? Midnight, especially for a pregnant momma just awoken from a deep sleep, is not the time to be having deep conversations.

Except that last night, we did.

In the middle of sharing his daily highlights, he remembered a text he got from me yesterday:

“Can we have another money conversation? I need some help talking out a mindset & cash flow change please.”

So, at midnight last night Chuck and I had one of “those talks.” Dave Ramsey calls them “budget committee meetings” and I call them frustrating.

In our house, I’m the saver and Chuck’s the spender, meaning I do the budget and pay the bills and pay attention to all things money, then we talk once a month about how we’re doing. Except that lately, there’s not been much to talk about. It’s the same thing every month.

The budget doesn’t balance. We use the credit card to “float” gas, groceries, and other expenses not otherwise drafted from our account. We try to pay it off each month. And we pray God provides to cover the gap and any unexpected expenses.

Because it’s been like this for at least 18 months or longer, we don’t have much to talk about in our budget meetings. But around the 15th of the month (not coincidentally my payday) I at least am looking at the expenses and trying to figure out if we can pay what we charged on the credit card that month and whether or not by some miracle (literally) we are able to pay on the balance we’re still carrying from 2013.

This is why budget meetings frustrate me. It feels like we’re stuck. We have dreams of financial freedom & of opportunities to serve and bless others in big ways.

Chuck’s business is doing well, but at this point, it’s just paying for itself. I got a promotion and a raise at the beginning of the year, but it’s still not enough to make the budget balance. I even got a side job working as a virtual assistant at night a few hours a week and that has helped some. But in the end, the amount coming in doesn’t match the amount scheduled to come out. It’s a frustrating place to be.

photo credit: kenteegardin via photopin cc

So back to the mindset change I mentioned. For months and months our plan of action has been the same.

Get paid.
Tithe.
Pay autodrafts with checking account.
Use credit card to “float” other expenses.
REPEAT.

Through it all, Chuck has challenged me to trust God on his promise to provide:

“My God will meet your every need out of his riches in the glory that is found in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19

My God will meet your every need out of his riches in the glory that is found in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

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Over and over again I have seen proof of God’s faithfulness. The stories of blessings we have received at just the right time are numerous. But through it all, my heart has not been quite right. Yes, I’ve grown in trusting God to provide for our needs, but in the back of my mind, there was always the “safety net” of the credit card, floating along our expenses for a few weeks until I got paid again. As a result, I’ve not been trusting Him fully.

And so, our midnight talk last night involved me trying to explain the math to Chuck while laying in the bed instead of showing him on the computer (bad move on my part…he’s a visual guy) and then sharing my heart about needing to trust God fully…meaning no more credit card.

Dave Ramsey would be proud!

Practically, this will mean those expenses we put on the credit card for this past month won’t get paid and we’ll instead start only using my income for all expenses starting tomorrow.

No more floating. No more trusting in a piece of plastic instead of the God who created me.

Instead, I will hold onto this:

Proverbs 3:5-6 (CEB)

Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
don’t rely on your own intelligence.
Know him in all your paths,
and he will keep your ways straight.

photo credit: duncan via photopin cc

God says he will provide for our needs and TELLS me not to use my own intelligence. The credit card? Yep, that’s using my own intelligence.

Instead of spending my time using my own intelligence to try to “figure things out” with our budget, maybe I’d be more successful if I obeyed His word and instead trusted in HIM with all my heart.

This next month, I’ll be focusing on knowing Him in ALL my paths and trusting that the path before our family will be kept straight.

My job? Trust Him.

His job? Provide for our needs.

So here it goes. I’m jumping all in. No more credit card. No more relying on me.

As seems appropriate, I’m sharing this song for Worship Wednesday:

Lord, I Need You – written by Matt Maher and performed by Kristian Stanfill

If you’re reading in an email, click here to view the video. The 3 minutes you spend allowing this message to resonate in your heart will transform your day. Promise.

Lord, I come, I confess
Bowing here I find my rest
Without You I fall apart
You’re the One that guides my heart

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

Where sin runs deep Your grace is more
Where grace is found is where You are
And where You are, Lord, I am free
Holiness is Christ in me

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

Teach my song to rise to You
When temptation comes my way
And when I cannot stand I’ll fall on You
Jesus, You’re my hope and stay

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

You’re my one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

Sharing this post at Three Word Wednesday {Simply Beth}, Wedded Wednesday, Wholehearted Home, Coffee for Your Heart, #TellHisStory, Works for Me Wednesday, and Recommendation Saturday.

What about you? Are you struggling to trust God in all things like me?

Share in the comments so we can encourage one another or if you feel more comfortable, email me at contact(at)leeanngtaylor(dot)com. I’d love to hear your story and pray for you as we journey together in learning to trust God more.

Worship Wednesday – Fall Afresh

July 9, 2014 By LeeAnn G. Taylor

It happens to all of us. And maybe to some of us more often than others.

This season of wandering, floundering, seeking, and wondering.

A dry season of our soul.

photo credit: Corey Holms via photopin cc

A time where we walk through life not sure how to connect with the God who created us, even after years of knowing and loving Him.

Am I alone?

When nothing else speaks to me during the dry time, music will. Worship in the form of powerful lyrics combined with a soul-stirring melody is the catalyst I need to awaken my dry, empty soul.

And so tonight I share. I share a song of worship that’s speaking to my soul, pulling me out of the desert and into life giving waters again.

I pray it is a blessing to you and that God’s Spirit falls afresh on your heart, waking you from your soul’s sleep as I’m awakening from mine.

photo credit: Tom Haymes via photopin cc

If you’re reading in an email or reader, you may need to click over to the blog to view the video.

Fall Afresh by Bethel Music (featuring Jeremy Riddle)

Awaken my soul, come awake
To hunger, to seek, to thirst
Awaken first love, come awake
And do as you did, at first

Spirit of the living God come fall afresh on me
Come wake me from my sleep
Blow through the caverns of my soul, pour in me to overflow
To overflow

Awaken my soul, come awake
To worship with all your strength

Spirit of the living God come fall afresh on me
Come wake me from my sleep
Blow through the caverns of my soul, pour in me to overflow

Come and fill this place
Let Your glory now invade
Spirit come and fill this place
Let Your glory now invade

Spirit of the living God come fall afresh on me
Come wake me from my sleep
Blow through the caverns of my soul, pour in me to overflow
To overflow

Do you have a song of worship that’s speaking to you right now? Share in the comments and it might show up on another edition of Worship Wednesday. Thank you all for sharing this journey with me, dry season and all.

The Tired Mother’s Creed {with free printable & book giveaway}

May 6, 2014 By LeeAnn G. Taylor

Today is for the tired mamas. The ones struggling with comparison and “I don’t measure up” syndrome. Let this guest post from Lisa-Jo Baker encourage your weary soul.

For the days we are running on empty. For the days we just don’t think we have it in us to read one more story, play one more game of Uno, wash one more round of sheets. For the days when we think everyone else has it all together. For the days we’re sure anyone else would do this job better.

For those days. You know the ones.

Repeat after me:

I shall not judge my house, my kid’s summer activities or my crafting skills by Pinterest’s standards.
I shall not measure what I’ve accomplished today by the loads of unfolded laundry but by the assurance of deep love I’ve tickled into my kids
I shall say “yes” to blanket forts and see past the chaos to the memories we’re building.
I shall surprise my kids with trips to get ice cream when they’re already in their pajamas.
I shall not compare myself to other mothers, but find my identity in the God who trusted me with these kids in the first place.
I shall remember that a messy house at peace is better than an immaculate house tied up in knots.
I shall play music loudly and teach my kids the joy of wildly uncoordinated dance.
I shall remind myself that perfect is simply a street sign at the intersection of impossible and frustration in Never Never land.
I shall embrace the fact that in becoming a mom I traded perfect for a house full of real.
I shall promise to love this body that bore these three children – out loud, especially in front of my daughter.
I shall give my other mother friends the gift of guilt-free friendship.
I shall do my best to admit to my people my “unfine” moments.
I shall say “sorry” when sorry is necessary.
I pray God I shall never be too proud, angry or stubborn to ask for my children’s forgiveness.
I shall make space in my grown up world for goofball moments with my kids.
I shall love their father and make sure they know I love him.
I shall model kind words – to kids and grown-ups alike.
I shall not be intimidated by the inside of my minivan – this season of chip bags, goldfish crackers and discarded socks too shall pass.
I shall always make time to encourage new moms.
I shall not resent that last call for kisses and cups of water but remember instead that when I blink they’ll all be in college.

~ with love from one tired mother to another.

{click here to download the below printable version}

{To see the video reminder of why all mothers are braver than they know, click here}.

This guest post comes with love from Lisa-Jo Baker to our community in celebration of Mother’s Day. If you haven’t already – treat yourself, your mom, your sister, your BFF or your grandma to a copy of her new book, Surprised by Motherhood: Everything I Never Expected About Being a Mom.

And now for the FUN stuff!

Three (yes, three!) lucky readers will win this bookplate signed by Lisa-Jo to whomever you choose. Thank you Lisa-Jo for your generosity to our community. You are a blessing to so many of us! (Ok…keep reading…there’s more!)

ONE of you lovely ladies will win your own copy of this must-get-tissues-before-you-read motherhood book sent directly from me to you.

Let’s call it my Mother’s Day gift to this awesome community of women living authentically in the midst of our brokenness as God picks up our pieces and crafts us into the masterpieces he created us to be. Plus, everyone loves a gift, especially one celebrating mothers!

No matter what stage you’re in when it comes to motherhood, I promise this book will encourage. And remind you that you are braver than you think. So…enter away!

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